Managing the Hectic Holidays

It's the most wonderful time of the year! The season to decorate your home, attend all of the community events and festivities, and host the perfect holiday party. Don’t forget to send out those Christmas cards featuring your "Hallmark family photo!" In all of the hustle and bustle of rushing from place to place and checking items off our lists, the "most wonderful time of the year" can quickly turn into the most stressful time of the year.

We’ve all been there—maxing out our limits during the holidays and thinking, "I can’t wait until this season is over." Reflecting on those feelings often brings disappointment and guilt for me,  realizing I was wishing away a time that should be filled with joy. It wasn't until I learned more about how stress impacts our experiences that my perspective began to shift.

Dr. Bruce D. Perry explains that unpredictable, prolonged, and extreme stress can lead

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us toward vulnerability and sensitivity. In contrast, predictable, moderate, and controlled stress can help our systems become more resilient. I would like to liken this to an athlete who is training for a marathon. A marathon runner starts with small, scheduled runs each week, gradually extending their distances as their bodies adapt. If they suddenly begin training by running long distances randomly, every few weeks, they risk injury and won’t build the necessary strength to complete a marathon.  The same goes for our systems and the stress we encounter—even things that can be viewed as “good,” such as the holidays. 

The holiday season can easily pull us towards a more vulnerable state because we have unpredictable, prolonged exposure to stress. Our routines change during this time: we stay up later than usual, we attend gatherings with co-workers, spend more time with family, and feel pressure to create the “perfect holiday.” Although these activities can be enjoyable, they’re often unpredictable.  When processed by our brains and bodies, they can pull us toward a more vulnerable state. This can result in irritability and dysregulation, and we can end up becoming Ebenezer Scrooge, just wishing for the season to be over.

We can’t eliminate the stress that comes with the holidays, but we can create predictability and control amidst the chaos.

1. Stick to Your Routines: During the holidays, we often stay up later and relax our schedules. It’s crucial to maintain a regular sleep routine. Decide what time you will go to bed and what time you will wake up.

2. Plan Ahead: Look at your calendar in advance. Are there commitments you can cut? We often feel overwhelmed by events we "have to attend," which diminishes enjoyment. Consider simplifying your schedule to create a slower and more enjoyable pace for the holiday festivities. If you cannot avoid the activity or event, can you create space before and after to allow your brain and body space to recover?

3. Engage in Regulating Activities: Incorporate activities that help regulate your body, such as walking, running, dancing, listening to music, or swimming. These activities engage both sides of your body, helping to balance your brain. Think of what we do for a newborn—rocking, swaying, singing—providing rhythm and comfort. As adults, our need for this regulation continues; we just need to modify our routines. A simple 5-10 minute walk outside or on a treadmill, or creating a calming playlist can make a big difference.

4. Limit Social Media Time: It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, especially during the holidays. While sharing your festivities online can be fun, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. If you choose to share your experiences, consider waiting until after the holiday season to reflect positively without the pressure of comparison.

By embracing these strategies, we can navigate the holiday season with greater ease and joy, making it truly the most wonderful time of the year.