Creating an Attitude of Gratitude

A few years ago, I wrote a blog about finding four-leaf clovers, which you can read here. In that post, I discussed how I discovered many four-leaf clovers. I don't believe it was due to an increase in their numbers that year; rather, I had learned to recognize what I was looking for. The blog emphasizes how we tend to find what we focus on. Our brains quickly adapt to identifying specific patterns—this is particularly relevant when it comes to observing our children's behavior. If we're on the lookout for negative behaviors, we'll inevitably notice them. We'll easily spot every mistake our child makes, instances of bad attitudes, or moments when they don’t follow directions. This same concept applies to cultivating an attitude of gratitude; we can easily spot what we are looking for--negative or positive.

I must admit, this concept resurfaced for me recently when I found myself fixated on all the negative occurrences around me. It felt as if negativity was everywhere. Was there truly more negativity, or was I simply searching for it? In this "negative nelly" mindset, I stumbled upon an old office friend—the Grateful Gobler.

The Grateful Gobler was created to help our team and clients practice gratitude. Over several weeks, our clients & staff would write on a feather about something for which they were grateful and then place it on the Gateful Gobler.

The "Grateful Gobler" was created during a time when I struggled with gratitude. I easily found the negative, even amid positive experiences. It seemed nothing was ever good enough; I constantly felt inadequate, and nothing was going my way. In an effort to foster an attitude of gratitude, I introduced the Grateful Gobler. For a month, it resided in our office, inviting clients, staff, and even our social media followers to identify one thing they were grateful for each day. We wrote those items on feathers and added them to the Grateful Gobler, and soon, it was adorned with a plethora of feathers.

I wish I could say that my gratitude mindset remained after that activity, but it didn’t. Cultivating gratitude is much like building muscle at the gym; if you don’t exercise it, it can easily fade. I was reminded of this as I found myself grumbling and feeling sorry for myself until I encountered our old friend again. It’s time to practice an attitude of gratitude.

Benefits of being grateful:

Did you know that an #attitudeofgratitude can help reduce cortisol, the hormone linked to stress? It can improve your sleep, lower your blood pressure, enhance your mood, and strengthen relationships. The benefits are numerous! However, maintaining this attitude is not always easy. Here are a few simple ways I'm planning to practice gratitude:

Strategies for developing an attitude of gratitude:

1. Be on the "good hunt": We often discuss this regarding how parents perceive their children's behavior, but it applies to all aspects of life. When you climb into bed to fall asleep, reflect on your day and identify at least one thing for which you are grateful.

2. Express gratitude to others: A simple "thank you" can go a long way. Acknowledge someone for holding the door, assisting you with a task, or making a positive impact in your life. Take 1 minute and write down your piece of gratitude on a post-it and hide it for the other to find.

3. Reframe negative thoughts: This process takes practice, but a helpful strategy is to watch for extreme language. Statements like "This always happens..." or "I never..." reflect all-or-nothing thinking. To combat negative thoughts, we must replace them with positive—and realistic—statements. For example, if I’m struggling financially and think, "I will always be broke," trying to replace that thought with "I am going to be a millionaire someday" is unrealistic and may not feel believable. While it’s great to aspire to become a millionaire, such a drastic shift in thinking won’t help during tough times. Instead, we can focus on something more realistic: "I am short on money, but I am working hard to manage my finances."

Similarly, if my negative thought is "I always mess things up," and I try to change it to "I need to get it right," I might find it difficult to believe or maintain a positive attitude. A more constructive approach might be, "I am doing my best, and I'll forget the rest." By addressing these negative thoughts and reframing them, you can gradually cultivate a more balanced and positive perspective.

As we approach the season of Thanksgiving and focus on cultivating an attitude of gratitude, it’s important to remember that this practice requires effort. By dedicating ourselves to daily reflections on the positives in our lives, we can gradually make it easier to recognize and appreciate the good around us. Let’s commit to this journey together, embracing gratitude not just as a seasonal sentiment but as a powerful habit that enriches our lives throughout the year.