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Do you want your behavior copied?

Updated: Nov 22


I have a quote on my mirror that poses a profound question: “Am I living the kind of life that I want Jonah and Levi to copy?” If my boys mirrored my behavior, would that make me proud? Knowing that little eyes are watching my every move adds a layer of responsibility to ensure I’m setting a positive example.


We often remind our boys, "Who do you have to worry about?" They respond, "Myself," because our twins can easily fixate on each other’s mistakes. Recently, while driving with the boys, another driver took a corner too sharply and nearly clipped my front end. Without thinking, I exclaimed, “Whoa, stay in your own lane, lady!” To my surprise, a small voice from the back replied, “Worry about yourself, Daddy!” I had to stifle a laugh, but it served as a powerful reminder of how closely our kids observe us. This incident prompted me to reflect on our responsibilities as role models, especially as we approach the upcoming election. Please note, this blog is not about any particular political party or affiliation.


It’s no secret that this week is significant for the United States, and emotions are running high as we anticipate the election. We have a valuable opportunity to demonstrate to our children how to handle both victory and defeat. How do we cope with disappointment or celebrate triumph? How do we navigate differences of opinion? There are countless ways we can model healthy behaviors for our children, but the challenge lies in maintaining our composure.


Here are a few strategies to help us this week:


1. Regulate Your Emotions: Both excitement and disappointment can be overwhelming, causing us to react in ways that may not reflect our true selves. It’s important to recognize this, and in the coming days, we should engage in proactive emotional regulation. Consider going for short walks, exercising, or listening to your favorite music (and this week, it might be wise to avoid radio stations with political ads). As Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD, reminds us, we must regulate, relate, then reason. This is a perfect opportunity to involve your kids in the process. Turn off electronics and engage in activities that promote regulation together. It could be as simple as walking to the mailbox or saying hi to a neighbor, or even having a fun dance party to your favorite song. By doing this, you’re showing your kids how to manage big emotions.


2. Limit Media Exposure: Social media thrives on creating cravings for engagement, inciting quick reactions—like or dislike—that often lead to polarized thinking. Developers of these platforms know how to elicit strong responses, which can become particularly intense during political events. Remember the uproar over the color of that dress? As election results unfold, consider limiting your media consumption to avoid becoming overwhelmed by inflammatory content.


Additionally, some of you may have seen my personal post about exercising caution around the information shared on social media. I shared a picture of my son Levi taken next to our green screen, and within minutes, I was able to create a misleading ad. So, as you navigate social media, be extremely cautious about what you share, like, and comment on—there is a lot of misleading information out there!


3. Exit and Cool Off Before Engaging: Just as we create exit plans for intense moments at home, we should implement the same strategy in discussions about politics. Have a plan to step away and take a moment to cool off before diving into difficult conversations. Think of it as taking an exit ramp to avoid a traffic jam; this small effort can save us from larger conflicts down the road. By exiting, we model for our children how to handle challenging situations and avoid regret from reacting impulsively when upset.


4. Emphasize Common Ground: While we may hold different political opinions, we can all agree on our pride in being part of the USA. We can have differing views, but our love for this country unites us. As this week unfolds, let’s remember that our adversaries want nothing more than for us to fight each other and become the “un-united states of America.” Our children are watching how we interact with those who may not share our political beliefs. They observe how we treat others and will mirror our behaviors. How do you respond to yard signs from the "other party"? What do you say when a political ad comes on TV or radio? The way we handle these situations speaks volumes to our children. Are we addressing these moments in a way we’d want our children to handle their peers at school?


As we navigate this pivotal week, let’s strive to be mindful of our actions and words, knowing that our children are always watching and learning from us.



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